The Wide Window

A Series of Unfortunate Events
Book the Third: The Wide Window (2000)
by Lemony Snicket

• For Beatrice--I would much prefer it if you were alive and well.-Lemony Snicket

• Violet: You are being unbearable, with a U!

Klaus: And YOU are being stupid, with an S!
Sunny: Aget! (meaning "Please stop fighting!")

• Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -- Lemony Snicket

• There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. -- Lemony Snicket

• If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. -- Lemony Snicket

• Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it. -- Lemony Snicket

• There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or, in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. For instance, the Baudelaire orphans have a fear of Count Olaf, which makes perfect sense, because he is an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and would never hurt a soul. Being afraid of a monster under the bed is perfectly rational, because there may in fact be a monster under your bed at any time, ready to eat you all up, but a fear of realtors is an irrational fear. Realtors, as I'm sure you know, are people who assist in the buying and selling of houses. Besides occasionally wearing an ugly yellow coat, the worst a realtor can do to you is show you a house that you find ugly, so it is completely irrational to be terrified of them. --Lemony Snicket

________________________________________________

More Quotes from A Series of Unfortunate Events (series)