The Mask (film) Quotations

The Mask is a 1994 action comedy film based on a series of comic books published by Dark Horse Comics.

Stanley Ipkiss/The Mask

Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssmokin'!

It's party time! P-A-R-T-whY? Because I gotta!

[after smashing an alarm clock] Snoooooooooooze!

Look, Ma, I'm roadkill! Ha ha ha!

Look at that! It's exactly two seconds before I honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head.

Hold onto your lugnuts - it's tiiiiime for an overhaul!!!

Hold on, sugar! Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight!

Sssomebody stop me!

Uh-oh...can't make the scene if you don't have the green; I better make a little stop.

How do?

Let's rock this joint!

Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.

Ya got me, partner!

[after being shot] Hold me closer, Ed, it's getting dark... [coughs] Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out... [coughs]...tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas... [coughs]...tell Scarlett I do give a damn!! (coughs on thug, a fart is heard) Pardon me... [he dies, an audience appears and applauds while The Mask is handed Oscar acting award] Thank you! You love me! You really love me!

[in Clint Eastwood voice] You gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" WELL, DO YA... PUNKS?!

[after swallowing a bomb, then belching out the explosion; Italian accent] THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL!!!

This guy's incorrigible.

[after defeating Dorian, with an Eddie G. Robinson voice] You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see?

Dorian Tyrell

Son of a bitch!

[about The Mask] That guy dancin' with Tina? He's dead meat. Come on.

Ice this deadbeat!

50 grand. 50 grand to the man who finds that green-faced son of a bitch before the cops do. I want you to get the word out to every street hustler, to every lowlife in this town. I want him in here tomorrow, alive. You still here? Come on, let's go!

I'm just an ex-employee, who's come for his back pay. Or should I say, payback!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be your host for the remainder of the evening.

Dialogues

Driver: Hey, get out of the road!

The Mask: I think he wants to communicate! [The Mask holds up a horn and blows it at the driver, which shatters the car's windows with its volume.]

Dorian Tyrell: Son of a bitch! [throws the cigarette lighter over the glass window; to Eddie] Eddie, who did this, man?!

Eddie: [pointing to The Mask] Him. That's--that's the guy.

Dorian Tyrell: That guy dancin' with Tina? He's dead meat. Come on!

Dorian Tyrell: Okay, Twinkle-Toes, I want to know where my money is and I want to know right now!

The Mask: Okay. [reveals a cashier] You've got 17.5% in T-bills amortized over the fiscal year. 8% in stocks and bonds. Carry the nine, divide by the gross national product. Fortunately, funeral bouquets are deductible!

Dorian Tyrell: [to Orlando] Ice this deadbeat!

Kellaway: Margaret! You son of a bitch!

The Mask: Jeez, I figured you had a sense of humour. After all... YOU MARRIED HER!

[Kellaway shouts angrily; The Mask rapidly slaps the sides of his and his partner's faces.]

The Mask: That's gotta hurt! [makes weird sound then whizzes off.]

Doyle: Aw, come on, Lieutenant. It's not all your fault. Something would turn up.

Kellaway: Sure, Stanley Ipkiss is gonna fall right into my lap. [falls when Stanley falls on him, then tears the tape off Stanley's mouth]

Stanley Ipkiss: OW!

Kellaway: Ipkiss!

Stanley Ipkiss: Wait, I can explain everything!

Kellaway: Oh, yeah? You can explain everything? [finds a green rubber mask] Explain this.

Stanley Ipkiss: Um...

Kellaway: Get him up!

Kellaway: Freeze! [The Mask literally freezes] Put your hands up!

The Mask: [with teeth clenched] But you told me to freeze!

Kellaway: All right, all right, un-freeze. [The Mask defrosts and falls to the ground] You're under arrest.

The Mask: [Desperate voice] No! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man! [gets up, in normal voice] All right, I confess! I did it, ya hear? And I'm glad, glad I tell ya! [begs on the ground] What are they gonna do to me, Sarge? What are they gonna do?!

Kellaway: [slaps handcuffs on The Mask] Sorry, son, that's not my department. Search him! [The Mask is pulled up and his [endless] pockets are searched]

The Mask: Ow! Where's a camcorder when ya need one? [snorty laugh]

The Mask: And last, but not least, my favorite! (Licks the balloon and twists it into a gun shape. Then it becomes real.) A Tommy gun!!

[The police are searching the Mask's pockets]

Police Officer: Bazooka...

The Mask: I have a permit for that.

Police Officer:...rubber chicken.

The Mask: I've never seen that before in my life.

[Dorian has just donned the Mask]

Dorian Tyrell: What a rush!

Eddie: Whoa, boss! You OK?

Dorian Tyrell: Better than ever, you idiot.

Eddie: What do we do with Ipkiss?

Dorian Tyrell: The police are looking for The Mask. So we'll give them The Mask. (He laughs evily)

Dorian Tyrell: I'm gonna take you apart! [he punches Stanley]

Stanley Ipkiss: Well, I hope you can enjoy the victory with one friggin' eye! [he pokes Dorian in the eye and punches him across the face]

Quoternity