The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane is a 1990 action comedy film about a "rock n' roll" detective who solves crimes in Los Angeles' music scene. The movie starred comedian Andrew 'Dice' Clay, as Ford Fairlane.
- Directed by: Renny Harlin. Written by: Joel Silver and Steve Perry
Ford Fairlane
- Unfucking believable!
- So many assholes, So few bullets!
- Did I want the whole music industry to suck my dick Tracy?!
- I am so terifical I even have my own toll free numba, 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE!
- Bird Brain, why have you come to my planet!
- Fuckin' Australians! I hate that country, you know, that continent, whatever the hell it is. Don't we do nuclear testing there? [spots koala bear on Jazz's lap] What is that? Some kind of giant fucking mouse?
- [recalling joke he told to Jazz's parents] What's the definition of a vagina? A box a penis comes in.
Dialogue
- Melodi: You're that guy, the private eye.
- Ford: You're a poet and you didn't even know it.
- Tourist: Can you tell us how to get to Mann's Chinese Theater?
- Ford: Ah, go back to Michigan, asswipe!
- Tourist: Oh no, we're from Wisconsin.
- Ford: Yeah, and I'm from my dads penis. Get lost!
- Kid: When are you gonna let me work with you? Why you always fucking with me?
- Ford: Excuse me! You say the F word again, I'll bang you right the fuck out, you understand me? Now get the fuck outta here.
- Kid: I got something serious to discuss.
- Ford: What? Premature ejaculation?
- Kid: You know, Ford, sometimes you can be a real dick.
- Ford: "Dick", "fuck". What kind of kid are you?
- Ford: Scalping at a funeral. You're a pretty sleazy guy.
- Scalper: Thanks, you interested? It's festival seating so you get a good, uh-
- Ford: How much?
- Scalper: 300.
- Ford: 300? You charged the chicks one.
- Scalper: Hey, they blew me.
- Ford: 300 coming up!
- Ford: Hey, who killed Bobby Black? Who killed Johnny Crunch? Who's Art Mooney? Talk to me.
- Zu Zu Petals: I don't know.
- Ford: Talk to me!
- Zu Zu Petals: I--I'm so scared! [gets on our knees] Help me!
- Ford: Hey, baby, a simple thank you would suffice.
- Zu Zu Petals: Fuck you!