Jak and Daxter
Jak and Daxter is a video game series created and developed by Naughty Dog.
Daxter: "Your what?"
Sculptor: "You haven't seen a muse before? It's a little glowin' squirrel about your size, full of spunk, and crazy as a lark!"
Daxter: "Hey baby! Why don't you and I go cruisin' on this A Grav Zoomer?"
Keira: "Rule number one, I don't date animals..."
Daxter: "Ah, you don't know what you missin'!" (Daxter makes a suggestive movement with his hands and Jak slaps him on the back of the head.)
Red Sage: "Heh heh heh heh...! You've finally come to rescue me! Do you know how long I've been in here? Heh heh heh...! What are your names?"
Daxter: "I'm Daxter. He's Jak. He's with me."
Blue Sage: "Great balls of Precursor metal! That insidious contraption must not be allowed to wreak its terrible havoc! I shall try to actuate the shield door by eliciting a conduit of energy between myself, and the vast portal bellow!"
Daxter: "Yeah... you do that. We'll go get help. (aside) Weirdo."
Maia: "We have been given a beauty beyond anything you could understand."
Daxter: "Beauty? Have you two looked in a mirror lately?"
Maia: "Just wait until we open the silos, little one. You think short and fuzzy is bad..."
Gol: "And to think, you two traveled all the way here for my help! Fools! Enjoy your front-row seats to the re-creation of the world!"
Warrior: "Oh, my aching head."
Daxter: "I doubt that's one of your vital organs! Walk it off, tough guy."
Warrior: "Oh, sure, I was tough once. Maybe even the toughest of them all! I single-handedly defended this village against those horrid creatures for almost a year. Then that horrible monster arrived and commenced the boulder bombardment. So... full of valor... armor shining in the sun... I climbed the hill to take him on. But he pounded me like one tenderizes a Yakow steak."
Daxter: "Have you tried attacking him with your melodrama? 'Cuz it's killing me!"
Samos the Green Sage: "It's about time you two decided to show up!"
Daxter: "Nice to see you, too! Do they have you mopping the floors now?"
Daxter: "Look, old man! Are you gonna keep yappin', or are you gonna help me outta this mess?"
Samos the Green Sage: "I'm gonna keep yappin'! Because in my personal opinion, the change is an improvement."
Daxter: (Silently growls)
Samos: And besides...I couldn't do it even if I could.
Daxter: WHAT?!
Mayor: "Oh, don't tell me you two have problems as well! First, I hear of monstrous sightings near the village, now this. See those gears, boys? See them? See how they're not moving? That means our village has no power! The Eco beam coming from the jungle temple has been interrupted."
Daxter: "Did you pay the bill?"
Birdwatcher: "Oh my, what a horribly sick little bird!"
Daxter: Huh! You don't look so good yourself, lady!"
Birdwatcher: "Oh, sorry! I thought you were a Spotted Orange-Bellied Rain Fray."
Samos the Green Sage: "Hey! It looks like the Blue Sage threw a party!"
Keira: "Oh my! Rock Village is on fire!"
Samos the Green Sage: "One heck of a party!"
Willard: "Ooh! Ooh! I got it this time! Here's a...! Here's a...!"
Gordy: "A Power Cell!"
Willard: "Yeah... yeah... what he said."
Daxter: (on the Precursor Ring) "Wooooow! What IS it?"
Keira: "It's beautiful...!"
Samos the Green Sage: "By the Precursors...!"
Boggy Billy: "I own these here parts. Everything that doesn't sink into the mud that is!"
Daxter: "Judging by the smell, I'd wager your bathtub sank into the mud long ago!"
Boggy Billy: "What's a bathtub?"
Keira: (on Power Cells) "And they are all just waiting for some brave adventurer to find."
Daxter: "Well we've got the brave adventurer at least."
Samos the Green Sage: "Brave adventurer?! You two wouldn't be able to get out of the village without training!"
(Daxter opens the water hatch, and Torn gains an annoyed expression as the sound of water coming through the pipe is heard. The substance that comes out is sludge, however, and not water. Daxter gags and shuts the water off while you can barely hear Torn chuckling)
Torn: The Baron turned off all water to the slums. He's willing to sacrifice innocent lives, just to destroy the Underground! I shouldn't be surprised. I've seen his evil before, while serving in the Krimzon Guard. That's why I quit.
Jak: You were a Krimzon Guard? Heh. Oh, that explains your... 'charming' sense of humor.
Samos: Take the seed to Onin now. She will prepare it for Samos.
Daxter: You mean you?
Samos: NO! The other me Daxter! My younger self needs the seed's power to become... sagely....
Daxter: So let me get this straight. It's safe to say by bringing your younger self the life seed now, we helped you become the sage you are today! We helped you get your powers in the first place! And you never thanked us? .
Samos: Thank you Daxter... now go do it!
Daxter: Hey! Tattooed Wonder! How come we get all the crappy missions?
Torn: (emphasizing each word) Because I...don't...like...you.
Daxter: (meekly) Fair enough.
Krew: What is that horrible smell?
(Krew sniffs the air to investigate the matter himself.)
Daxter: Ohh, great! We do your dirty work and we come back smelling worse than a wet Hip Hog in a warm barn!
(Daxter sniffs himself and turns to Jak.)
Daxter: This could have a serious impact on the lady factor.
Krew: No...
(Krew belches.)
Krew: I think it was my lunch, actually...
(Jak and Daxter look disgusted.)
Krew: I have a proposition for you, Jak. Racing is the biggest sport in the city! Erol is the undisputed grand champion. He's crazy and dangerous on the track. Haha. My kind of guy. Only a fool would dare race against him, 'ey! And that's where you two come in. A client of mine is looking for a fast driver for her racing team. Here's a security pass to get you into the stadium section. Uh, and your contract, with just a few trifles for me. I've ah, already signed your name to save time, mmmmmnn.
(Daxter takes the contract and reads it in a very fast manner.)
Daxter: We the racers hereby agree to give Krew all proceeds from race earnings, endorsement fees, broadcast royalties, syndications residuals, vehicle sponsorships, mall appearance fees, collectible card assets, fast-food tie-ins, use of likeness rights, talk show deals, clothing lines, all print rights including book, novella, comic, pamphlet, tickertape, neon sign and bathroom graffiti designs... (large breath) Toy rights, shoe lines, mood rings, game rights. (stops and looks at the camera) GAME RIGHTS?! Vitamin endorsements, city kickbacks, movie deals, and of course, all death and dismemberment accident insurance claims. (During this, Jak almost falls asleep.)
Krew: Heh heh heh... we can work out the tiny details later. If you can get from here to the Race Garage near the stadium in less than 3 minutes, my client said that she would consider letting you drive for her team. Make me proud, mmmm!
Ashelin: Who the hell are you two?
Daxter: Mmm, I do love a woman in uniform. Wanna bark some orders at me? Woof woof! I'm your soldier on the front lines of love! Waiter, foxhole for two!
(Ashlin aims her blaster at Daxter's groin)
Ashelin: Keep talking and I'll raise your voice a couple of octaves.
Daxter: (to Tess) Hey sugarplum. You new here? Well, whatcha got that's, uh, hot and... Wait, I've seen you before. You're with the Underground.
(Tess shushes Daxter before Krew can hear.)
Tess: Shhh! I'm Tess. Torn sent me to spy on Krew. (Daxter looks at Tess's clevage.)Play along, and maybe I'll be able to get a few hands on a few of his secrets.
Daxter: Oooooh... I love 'undercover' work, baby! But ah, two can work better than one. Let me help you out.
Tess: Hee hee hee...
(Daxter jumps behind the bar counter and proceeds to rape it of its liquor.)
Daxter: Wow! There sure are a lot of bottles back here. (gulping noises) Whew! Ooh that's, ooh that, that goes down aah... Ooh boy, gee ya s'pose that's real gold floatin' in here? How 'bout this purple stuff? Glug, glug, glug... WHEW! That's the stuff!
(Krew appears as Daxter continues to consume alcohol.)
Krew: Jak! I need you and the talking rat to go around and make a few collections for me.
(Before he can continue, Daxter gets up from behind the counter, looking rather drunk.)
Daxter: (slurring) Hey there, five chins... how's crimes?
Krew: What's his problem, 'ey?
Daxter: Nothin'... I'm just fine... mind your own business... (falls onto his back, begins singing) I sometimes feel so very...
Krew: Listen, I have six 'clients' around town who are about to make money drops for me. I need you to collect each moneybag as fast as you can and 'take care' of any guards who get curious, mmmmn. Get to a moneybag too late and some townie might pick it up.
Daxter: ...DRRYY!... You know what's da trouble with you Krew? You got no vision... This place could be a real swingin' joint... Hop Heg Hiven with more dancin', more mac'n, more WOMEN!...
Krew: Just collect all 14 moneybags before they disappear and bring them back here. If you lose even one bag, then don't come back, 'ey!
(Jak and Daxter are entering the blind old soothsayer Onin's hut. Dax is amazed.)
Daxter: Coooool! Check out the dead stuff!
(Daxter pokes a nearby odd-looking monkey-macaw hybrid hanging off the wall. The monkey-macaw thing suddenly springs to life and bites Daxter's prodding finger.)
Daxter: Owww!
Odd Monkey-Macaw Thing: Touch the goods again, rat boy, and you'll be, arrrk, counting with your toes! (flies onto Onin's headbasket) I am Pecker! [Jak and Daxter chuckle to themselves] Yes, yes, I know, my mother, she was... very vindictive. I am Onin's interpreter.
(Onin springs to life just as Pecker did, and makes various hand gestures.)
Pecker: Onin welcomes you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... the usual boring salutations. She says it is good to see you again, Jak.
Jak: But we've never met before.
Pecker: Before... after... it is all the same.
Daxter: Oh! Oh! Let me try! Aaah... she wants a... She wants a yakow bone! A yakow bladder! No... no... I got it! For many moons... she has... waited for... a juice pop? A jewel shop? Oh... oh... I know, she's got a hairball?! A hair lip? A hairy chest?
Pecker: Close... but NO! Onin says you seek answers... arrrkkk, about the Tomb of Mar. (Onin makes the seal of Mar appear)
Jak: So what do we need to know?
Pecker: She's going on and on about mystical energy channels, evil curses, stupid 'ooooooo' crap. Forget all that! I'm gonna sum this up quickly, because now you're cutting into my siesta time. Onin wants you to recover three artifacts from the Precursor Mountain Temple. Not two! Not four! THREE! Use the Warp Gate at the northwest side of the city, and bring back the three items you find!
(Jak and Daxter enter Onin's hut with an angry Pecker looking down at them.)
Pecker: Onin says what took you so long?! We had to skip lunch waiting for you two! [Onin claps her hands] Okay... okay... She really says "Thank you for saving the Life Seed". But I wouldn't say that if I were her! Give Onin the seed, and she will prepare it for Samos.
(As Onin starts to prepare the Seed, Pecker stares at it with a tint of hunger in his eyes.)
Pecker: Mmmmmm... bird seed...
Daxter: Back off, feather weight!
Pecker: Listen tiny tail, I was leading my hundredth flock south before you had fur one between your legs! Not that your fur means anything!
Daxter: At least I'm not some stuffed, over yappin', feather dusty mouthpiece for the world's oldest professional! (mockingly) Jak says, 'have a nice day.' Jak says, 'I can't think on my own.' Jak says 'Go bite yourself!'
Pecker: That's it, rat boy! Now you've REALLY pissed me off!
(Pecker and Daxter exchange lame karate-esque poses.)
Pecker/Daxter: Hiyaaaaoooowww!
Jak: (off-screen) Knock it off, both of you!
Pecker: (to Daxter) You're lucky I'm famished!
Jak: Where would you be without me, eh Dax?
Daxter: Well, Jak, I probably wouldn't be two feet tall, fuzzy, and running around in a sewer without a pair of pants! God, I miss pants.
Bruter: Lurker balloons are finest lifters in world, but they is easy targets.
Jak: Right. You guys get the rift rider into the nest, I'll stand here and defend your take off and getaway.
Daxter: Once again, being your friend SUCKS! I wanna go in the balloon.
Keira: Erol's the best racer I've ever seen.
Jak: He's not what you think.
Keira: And you're a good judge of character? Ha! Look at you. People say you get angry and...change. Besides, the Jak I knew wouldn't be working for a guy like Krew.
Jak: I need Krew's connections to fight the Baron. Without my... You know what? Do it your way, and I'll do it mine. Just don't come crying to me when the walls fall down!
Jak: I still can't believe that little boy was me. Better times, huh?
Keira: You miss him, huh? You know, the kid grows up to be a handsome hero.
(they're about to kiss)
Daxter:Hey! (Kiera and Jak glance at Daxter, who is actually talking to a drunk Onin) That's enough of you lady! I'm cuttin' you off!
(Onin zaps him)
Pecker: Trust me, she gets real mean when she's like this!
(Onin makes hand gestures)
Daxter:What she say?
Pecker:Something about rubber tubing and certain parts of your mother. You don't wanna know.
Sig: You know, my momma used to read me bedtime stories about Mar when she'd tuck me in. She'd give me a nice glass of warm yakow milk... and my little Poopsy bear.
Daxter: Bedtime stories? Warm milk? Poopsy bear?! Buddy, ya just blew yer image!
Jak: Are you talking to me?
Daxter: Yeah, are you talking to...him?
Kleiver: No, I'm conversing with me sweet, departed mum. Of course you, ya bore head!
Pecker: This... was all your stupid idea!
Daxter: No... it was yours. Only a bird brain could have thought this one up. (imitates Pecker) Let's go with him! We'll help together! (angry) You mean we'll die together! I can't believe the city hates us. We saved those lowlifes!
Kleiver: I used to be the tall poppy on that baby. Wanna try to beat me score?
Daxter: (slyly) Oh, don't worry. Jak "beats" things all the time. Eh, Jak?
(Jak smacks Daxter upside the head, Daxter gives him an angry look)
Torn: You know the drill.
Daxter: Yeah, we do all the work, and you get all the credit.
Daxter: Oh yeah! The boys are back in town!
Jak: Let's go upside and see what kind of trouble we can get in to.
Daxter: After him, Jak!
Jak: You're willing to go down there? Without a fuss this time?
Daxter: Yeah, well don't get used to it. It's just that nobody hurts my best
friend and lives to brag about it. Let's get him!
Ashelin: No, this one's tricky. I'm giving it to Torn and Jinx.
Daxter: What!? I suppose you don't think we're good enough, huh? You don't
think we can do it?
Jak: Dax...
Daxter: May I remind you, that this team of Daxter, Jak and Daxter have taken
just about every scary thing this world can throw at us for three... count
them, three adventures!
Jak: Daxter...
Daxter: This is an outrage, Jak! We're the heroes! We're the ones on cereal
boxes for God's sake. And I'm about to release my own line of sports shoes!
I've got a contract.
Ashelin: You are on the mission. Your job is to cover Torn and Jinx in a
vehicle filled with explosives. Escort them to the Metal Head section, and
together you'll blow open the nest.
Daxter: Oh, well... why didn't you say so in the first place?
Samos: The best access to the catacombs is on the Metal Head side of the city.
Daxter: Sometimes... I really hate you guys.
(After Jak and Damos crash near the catacombs. Jak sees Damas underneath Desert Rover, struggling to get out)
Jak: Damas!
Damas: Not bad driving, kid. It was a good fight (cough) and a good day to die. I'm...very proud to have been by your side...in the end. This world is not yet out of heroes.
Jak: We did well together. (Damas struggles on the ground slightly) Don't move, I'll-
Damas: Please...promise me one thing...promise me you will...find my son...Mar. You'll know him when you see this. (Shows the symbol of Mar to Jak) He's...wearing an amulet just like it. (Jak has a flashback to the Kid from the previous game, his younger self, wearing the amulet) It is a symbol of our lineage...with the great house of Mar. (Cough) Save the people, Jak. They need you... (Damas dies)
Jak: (Whispers) Father...
(After Jak finds out that Damas was his father, Count Veger arrives)
Count Veger: Yes, you were that child. I took from Damas, hoping to harness your eco powers for my experiments. Then, I lost you to the Underground. You seem upset? Did I tell you to late? You were the son of the great warrior Damas. Oh, and he never knew, (smiles evilly) how delightful.
Jak: (Roars in anger, turning temporarily into Dark Jak) Veger! (Reverts back to normal)
Count Veger: Thank you for opening the door to the Precursors. Don't worry, I'll be back to put you out of your misery. (Jumps into nearby hovercar and flies down the hole to the center of the Earth and the Precursors)
Daxter: (Jumps on Jak's shoulder, points to the hole) After him, Jak!
Jak: (Surprised and disbelieving) You're willing to go, down there, without a fuss this time?
Daxter: Yeah, well, don't get used to it. It's just that NOBODY hurts my best friend, and lives to brag about it! Lets get him!
(Chase after Count Veger with last hovercraft nearby)
Daxter
- (to Samos) "Uh, we won't find any more of that Dark-gooey-Eco stuff in there, will we? Cuz I'd hate to fall in again and turn into you!"
- "The sage yaps on about the Precursors who built this place all the time. (imitating Samos) 'Where did they go? Why did they build this crap?'"
- "Hmmm. Stay fuzzy, save the world... Choices. Oh alright fine! We'll save the world! But do it quickly before I change my mind!"
- "Oh Boy! Here we go again!"
Death Monologues
- "Well, uh, better you than me."
- "Hey Jak! Can I have your insect collection?"
- "I was right behind you, Jak! Really. I was."
- "I'll say something really teary at the funeral, like how am I going to get changed back now?!
- "While you're down there, can you rub my feet?"
- "Step one: Stay alive. Step two: (shakes Jak's 'head' and talking very quickly) Think about not doing something like that again!
- "Heimlich!? Stretcher!? Yeech. Breath mint?"
- "Don't step into the light, Jak, don't step into the light!
- "Say good night, Jak."
Samos the Green Sage
- "I have spent my life searching for the answers that my father and my father's fathers failed to find. Who were the Precursors? Why did they create the vast monoliths that litter our planet? How did they harness Eco, the life energy of the world? What was their purpose? And why did they vanish? I have asked the plants, but they do not remember. The plants have asked the rocks, but the rocks do not recall. Even the rocks do not recall. Every bone in my body tells me that the answers rest on the shoulders... of a young boy... oblivious to his destiny, uninterested in the search for truth, and rejecting of my guidance! And why would he want to listen to old Samos the sage, anyway? I'm only the master of Green Eco, one of the wisest men on the planet! So it seems the answers begin not with careful research or sensible thinking. Nay! As with many of fate's mysteries, it begins with but a small act... of disobedience."
Yellow Sage
- "Who woulda thought I'd live to see the day I had to be rescued by a boy and his muskrat? I'm gonna give Gol and Maia a little payback for these embarrassments! Then we'll see about cookin' up some muskrat stew."
(Daxter gulps)
Conversations
Sculptor: "Hey! Little furry dude! Oh, I thought you were my muse!"Daxter: "Your what?"
Sculptor: "You haven't seen a muse before? It's a little glowin' squirrel about your size, full of spunk, and crazy as a lark!"
Daxter: "Hey baby! Why don't you and I go cruisin' on this A Grav Zoomer?"
Keira: "Rule number one, I don't date animals..."
Daxter: "Ah, you don't know what you missin'!" (Daxter makes a suggestive movement with his hands and Jak slaps him on the back of the head.)
Red Sage: "Heh heh heh heh...! You've finally come to rescue me! Do you know how long I've been in here? Heh heh heh...! What are your names?"
Daxter: "I'm Daxter. He's Jak. He's with me."
Blue Sage: "Great balls of Precursor metal! That insidious contraption must not be allowed to wreak its terrible havoc! I shall try to actuate the shield door by eliciting a conduit of energy between myself, and the vast portal bellow!"
Daxter: "Yeah... you do that. We'll go get help. (aside) Weirdo."
Maia: "We have been given a beauty beyond anything you could understand."
Daxter: "Beauty? Have you two looked in a mirror lately?"
Maia: "Just wait until we open the silos, little one. You think short and fuzzy is bad..."
Gol: "And to think, you two traveled all the way here for my help! Fools! Enjoy your front-row seats to the re-creation of the world!"
Warrior: "Oh, my aching head."
Daxter: "I doubt that's one of your vital organs! Walk it off, tough guy."
Warrior: "Oh, sure, I was tough once. Maybe even the toughest of them all! I single-handedly defended this village against those horrid creatures for almost a year. Then that horrible monster arrived and commenced the boulder bombardment. So... full of valor... armor shining in the sun... I climbed the hill to take him on. But he pounded me like one tenderizes a Yakow steak."
Daxter: "Have you tried attacking him with your melodrama? 'Cuz it's killing me!"
Samos the Green Sage: "It's about time you two decided to show up!"
Daxter: "Nice to see you, too! Do they have you mopping the floors now?"
Daxter: "Look, old man! Are you gonna keep yappin', or are you gonna help me outta this mess?"
Samos the Green Sage: "I'm gonna keep yappin'! Because in my personal opinion, the change is an improvement."
Daxter: (Silently growls)
Samos: And besides...I couldn't do it even if I could.
Daxter: WHAT?!
Mayor: "Oh, don't tell me you two have problems as well! First, I hear of monstrous sightings near the village, now this. See those gears, boys? See them? See how they're not moving? That means our village has no power! The Eco beam coming from the jungle temple has been interrupted."
Daxter: "Did you pay the bill?"
Birdwatcher: "Oh my, what a horribly sick little bird!"
Daxter: Huh! You don't look so good yourself, lady!"
Birdwatcher: "Oh, sorry! I thought you were a Spotted Orange-Bellied Rain Fray."
Samos the Green Sage: "Hey! It looks like the Blue Sage threw a party!"
Keira: "Oh my! Rock Village is on fire!"
Samos the Green Sage: "One heck of a party!"
Willard: "Ooh! Ooh! I got it this time! Here's a...! Here's a...!"
Gordy: "A Power Cell!"
Willard: "Yeah... yeah... what he said."
Daxter: (on the Precursor Ring) "Wooooow! What IS it?"
Keira: "It's beautiful...!"
Samos the Green Sage: "By the Precursors...!"
Boggy Billy: "I own these here parts. Everything that doesn't sink into the mud that is!"
Daxter: "Judging by the smell, I'd wager your bathtub sank into the mud long ago!"
Boggy Billy: "What's a bathtub?"
Keira: (on Power Cells) "And they are all just waiting for some brave adventurer to find."
Daxter: "Well we've got the brave adventurer at least."
Samos the Green Sage: "Brave adventurer?! You two wouldn't be able to get out of the village without training!"
Jak
- (first line) "I'm gonna kill Praxis!"
- (After first meeting a disguised Kor) "You look like a reasonably smart man. I want information! Where the hell am I?"
- "It's been a tough ride."
- "You know what? Do it your way and I'll do it mine. Just don't come crying to me when the walls fall down."
- "Kill Metal Heads? Get toys? Sounds good to me."
- "Precursor Stone, gun, nest. (Activates gun) HAHA, eat this!
Daxter
- "Okay, I swear that's the last time I ever, ever, touch any stupid Precursor crap!"
- "Don't say it. Don't even chuckle. Next time, you turn the valve."
- (holding the vibrating Shard) "Wow. This puppy's got some vibra-a-a-a-t-t-i-o-o-n-n to it. This baby will put a smile on your face!"
- "The Baron pumped our boy here full of Dark Eco, and it did something to him. Now he's got super moves or something...and a few anger issues as well."
- (watching Ashelin leave) Whoo, she's a betty. And she likes you, Jak. Not that I can account for her taste. I bet you'd love to pin some medals on her chest, huh?
- (Jak had just asked Daxter if he wanted to race against Erol) Against the crazy loon Erol? No way! You've got the handlebars, brother. And you'd better keep us alive or I will never speak to you again...obviously.
- "It ain't a petting zoo out there... peeps be gettin' deep sixed!"
- "I'd like to give him a touching moment."
- "Slow down Jak and the fat man!"
- Game rights?!
- "(Yelling to Errol) You were bottle fed weren't you!"
- "(Looking at glass lense) That's some peeper huh? (Sniffs) Something's cooking. Hmm... kind of smells like... (notices tail is on fire) Burnt Ottsel?! Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!!
- "Two Samos the Sages? Wah! Jak, they're multiplying!"
- "Remind me not to piss you off"
Samos the Sage
- "For every age there is a time of trial. The rocks faced such a fire before they were the strength beneath our feet. The plants braved vast winds before their roots could give us life. As a sage of considerable years, I have known only one such great ordeal. Yet the hero it created was a champion of all time."
The Metal Head Leader
- "Finally! The last Rift Gate has been opened!"
- "You cannot hide from me, boy!"
- "A deal is of no value if you can't deliver, my dear Baron. I grow impatient with these puny gestures. Give me the agreed upon Eco soon, or the deal is off, and your precious city will pay the price!
- "I will find that stone, even if I have to crush this city, one brick at a time!"
Erol
- (about Daxter, who has fled) Forget the rat, the Baron wants him. (To Jak) We've been waiting for you.
- He is surprisingly resistant to your 'experiments,' Baron Praxis; I fear the Dark Warrior Program has failed.
- You're the talk of the town, Jak; you give the people hope. How pathetic! I would've enjoyed killing you in prison, but now, it'll be so much more fun to take you on the track, in front of the entire city! I can hear the roar of the crowd now, as everyone sees their hope die.
- I want more than just to win, Eco freak! I want you!
- You know, Keira loves a winner. Someday she'll be my mechanic.
- (his last words in the game)I win Jak...
Baron Praxis
- (Propaganda post) Remember, even friends can be enemies. Turn them all in!
- (Propaganda post) Work harder! Eat less! (Spoken very quickly) Drink only when I tell you! (Spoken slowly and seriously) Sleep... is optional.
- (Propoganda post) Work hard for the freedom i may someday give you.
- (Propoganda post) Defy and die. Welcome to Haven City. All laws are enforced for your safety. Obey! And you will not be punished. The city is safe. I will not allow harm to befall you. Trust me. Rest assured, I will destroy the metal heads, one way or another.
Conversations
Daxter: Whew! Being a big hero sure makes ya thirsty!(Daxter opens the water hatch, and Torn gains an annoyed expression as the sound of water coming through the pipe is heard. The substance that comes out is sludge, however, and not water. Daxter gags and shuts the water off while you can barely hear Torn chuckling)
Torn: The Baron turned off all water to the slums. He's willing to sacrifice innocent lives, just to destroy the Underground! I shouldn't be surprised. I've seen his evil before, while serving in the Krimzon Guard. That's why I quit.
Jak: You were a Krimzon Guard? Heh. Oh, that explains your... 'charming' sense of humor.
Samos: Take the seed to Onin now. She will prepare it for Samos.
Daxter: You mean you?
Samos: NO! The other me Daxter! My younger self needs the seed's power to become... sagely....
Daxter: So let me get this straight. It's safe to say by bringing your younger self the life seed now, we helped you become the sage you are today! We helped you get your powers in the first place! And you never thanked us? .
Samos: Thank you Daxter... now go do it!
Daxter: Hey! Tattooed Wonder! How come we get all the crappy missions?
Torn: (emphasizing each word) Because I...don't...like...you.
Daxter: (meekly) Fair enough.
Krew: What is that horrible smell?
(Krew sniffs the air to investigate the matter himself.)
Daxter: Ohh, great! We do your dirty work and we come back smelling worse than a wet Hip Hog in a warm barn!
(Daxter sniffs himself and turns to Jak.)
Daxter: This could have a serious impact on the lady factor.
Krew: No...
(Krew belches.)
Krew: I think it was my lunch, actually...
(Jak and Daxter look disgusted.)
Krew: I have a proposition for you, Jak. Racing is the biggest sport in the city! Erol is the undisputed grand champion. He's crazy and dangerous on the track. Haha. My kind of guy. Only a fool would dare race against him, 'ey! And that's where you two come in. A client of mine is looking for a fast driver for her racing team. Here's a security pass to get you into the stadium section. Uh, and your contract, with just a few trifles for me. I've ah, already signed your name to save time, mmmmmnn.
(Daxter takes the contract and reads it in a very fast manner.)
Daxter: We the racers hereby agree to give Krew all proceeds from race earnings, endorsement fees, broadcast royalties, syndications residuals, vehicle sponsorships, mall appearance fees, collectible card assets, fast-food tie-ins, use of likeness rights, talk show deals, clothing lines, all print rights including book, novella, comic, pamphlet, tickertape, neon sign and bathroom graffiti designs... (large breath) Toy rights, shoe lines, mood rings, game rights. (stops and looks at the camera) GAME RIGHTS?! Vitamin endorsements, city kickbacks, movie deals, and of course, all death and dismemberment accident insurance claims. (During this, Jak almost falls asleep.)
Krew: Heh heh heh... we can work out the tiny details later. If you can get from here to the Race Garage near the stadium in less than 3 minutes, my client said that she would consider letting you drive for her team. Make me proud, mmmm!
Ashelin: Who the hell are you two?
Daxter: Mmm, I do love a woman in uniform. Wanna bark some orders at me? Woof woof! I'm your soldier on the front lines of love! Waiter, foxhole for two!
(Ashlin aims her blaster at Daxter's groin)
Ashelin: Keep talking and I'll raise your voice a couple of octaves.
Daxter: (to Tess) Hey sugarplum. You new here? Well, whatcha got that's, uh, hot and... Wait, I've seen you before. You're with the Underground.
(Tess shushes Daxter before Krew can hear.)
Tess: Shhh! I'm Tess. Torn sent me to spy on Krew. (Daxter looks at Tess's clevage.)Play along, and maybe I'll be able to get a few hands on a few of his secrets.
Daxter: Oooooh... I love 'undercover' work, baby! But ah, two can work better than one. Let me help you out.
Tess: Hee hee hee...
(Daxter jumps behind the bar counter and proceeds to rape it of its liquor.)
Daxter: Wow! There sure are a lot of bottles back here. (gulping noises) Whew! Ooh that's, ooh that, that goes down aah... Ooh boy, gee ya s'pose that's real gold floatin' in here? How 'bout this purple stuff? Glug, glug, glug... WHEW! That's the stuff!
(Krew appears as Daxter continues to consume alcohol.)
Krew: Jak! I need you and the talking rat to go around and make a few collections for me.
(Before he can continue, Daxter gets up from behind the counter, looking rather drunk.)
Daxter: (slurring) Hey there, five chins... how's crimes?
Krew: What's his problem, 'ey?
Daxter: Nothin'... I'm just fine... mind your own business... (falls onto his back, begins singing) I sometimes feel so very...
Krew: Listen, I have six 'clients' around town who are about to make money drops for me. I need you to collect each moneybag as fast as you can and 'take care' of any guards who get curious, mmmmn. Get to a moneybag too late and some townie might pick it up.
Daxter: ...DRRYY!... You know what's da trouble with you Krew? You got no vision... This place could be a real swingin' joint... Hop Heg Hiven with more dancin', more mac'n, more WOMEN!...
Krew: Just collect all 14 moneybags before they disappear and bring them back here. If you lose even one bag, then don't come back, 'ey!
(Jak and Daxter are entering the blind old soothsayer Onin's hut. Dax is amazed.)
Daxter: Coooool! Check out the dead stuff!
(Daxter pokes a nearby odd-looking monkey-macaw hybrid hanging off the wall. The monkey-macaw thing suddenly springs to life and bites Daxter's prodding finger.)
Daxter: Owww!
Odd Monkey-Macaw Thing: Touch the goods again, rat boy, and you'll be, arrrk, counting with your toes! (flies onto Onin's headbasket) I am Pecker! [Jak and Daxter chuckle to themselves] Yes, yes, I know, my mother, she was... very vindictive. I am Onin's interpreter.
(Onin springs to life just as Pecker did, and makes various hand gestures.)
Pecker: Onin welcomes you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... the usual boring salutations. She says it is good to see you again, Jak.
Jak: But we've never met before.
Pecker: Before... after... it is all the same.
Daxter: Oh! Oh! Let me try! Aaah... she wants a... She wants a yakow bone! A yakow bladder! No... no... I got it! For many moons... she has... waited for... a juice pop? A jewel shop? Oh... oh... I know, she's got a hairball?! A hair lip? A hairy chest?
Pecker: Close... but NO! Onin says you seek answers... arrrkkk, about the Tomb of Mar. (Onin makes the seal of Mar appear)
Jak: So what do we need to know?
Pecker: She's going on and on about mystical energy channels, evil curses, stupid 'ooooooo' crap. Forget all that! I'm gonna sum this up quickly, because now you're cutting into my siesta time. Onin wants you to recover three artifacts from the Precursor Mountain Temple. Not two! Not four! THREE! Use the Warp Gate at the northwest side of the city, and bring back the three items you find!
(Jak and Daxter enter Onin's hut with an angry Pecker looking down at them.)
Pecker: Onin says what took you so long?! We had to skip lunch waiting for you two! [Onin claps her hands] Okay... okay... She really says "Thank you for saving the Life Seed". But I wouldn't say that if I were her! Give Onin the seed, and she will prepare it for Samos.
(As Onin starts to prepare the Seed, Pecker stares at it with a tint of hunger in his eyes.)
Pecker: Mmmmmm... bird seed...
Daxter: Back off, feather weight!
Pecker: Listen tiny tail, I was leading my hundredth flock south before you had fur one between your legs! Not that your fur means anything!
Daxter: At least I'm not some stuffed, over yappin', feather dusty mouthpiece for the world's oldest professional! (mockingly) Jak says, 'have a nice day.' Jak says, 'I can't think on my own.' Jak says 'Go bite yourself!'
Pecker: That's it, rat boy! Now you've REALLY pissed me off!
(Pecker and Daxter exchange lame karate-esque poses.)
Pecker/Daxter: Hiyaaaaoooowww!
Jak: (off-screen) Knock it off, both of you!
Pecker: (to Daxter) You're lucky I'm famished!
Jak: Where would you be without me, eh Dax?
Daxter: Well, Jak, I probably wouldn't be two feet tall, fuzzy, and running around in a sewer without a pair of pants! God, I miss pants.
Bruter: Lurker balloons are finest lifters in world, but they is easy targets.
Jak: Right. You guys get the rift rider into the nest, I'll stand here and defend your take off and getaway.
Daxter: Once again, being your friend SUCKS! I wanna go in the balloon.
Keira: Erol's the best racer I've ever seen.
Jak: He's not what you think.
Keira: And you're a good judge of character? Ha! Look at you. People say you get angry and...change. Besides, the Jak I knew wouldn't be working for a guy like Krew.
Jak: I need Krew's connections to fight the Baron. Without my... You know what? Do it your way, and I'll do it mine. Just don't come crying to me when the walls fall down!
Jak: I still can't believe that little boy was me. Better times, huh?
Keira: You miss him, huh? You know, the kid grows up to be a handsome hero.
(they're about to kiss)
Daxter:Hey! (Kiera and Jak glance at Daxter, who is actually talking to a drunk Onin) That's enough of you lady! I'm cuttin' you off!
(Onin zaps him)
Pecker: Trust me, she gets real mean when she's like this!
(Onin makes hand gestures)
Daxter:What she say?
Pecker:Something about rubber tubing and certain parts of your mother. You don't wanna know.
Sig: You know, my momma used to read me bedtime stories about Mar when she'd tuck me in. She'd give me a nice glass of warm yakow milk... and my little Poopsy bear.
Daxter: Bedtime stories? Warm milk? Poopsy bear?! Buddy, ya just blew yer image!
Jak
- Don't touch it Daxter! Who knows what more Dark Eco will do to you.
- I'm through saving the world.
- To the end.
- Let's go topside and see what kind of trouble we can get into.
- Go back to the city Dax.
- I thought you said a smart warrior never takes his opponent head on.
Daxter
- Don't make me come over there and...sic Jak on ya!
- Our boy here gets all mean and nasty when you piss him off. So don’t piss him off. (Whispers) Word to the wise…
- I'll handle this.
- Excuse me... Mr. Sand King... Yes, I'd like to place a complaint. We've been training hard. My feet are killing me, and I think I'm getting a hangnail.
- Talk to the tail. Cause the whiskers ain't listening! We out, Jak.
- I've got two words for you: tooth brush !
- You know what I really miss? Soft underpants. You know how it lifts and cradles? (scratches under the screen.) You wouldn't understand.
- AARGH! My beautiful mug!
Death Monologues
- "You did that on purpose right?"
- "I wonder if Ashelin needs a new sidekick?"
- "Alright! Cut! Where's the director? (walks off screen) I can't work like this!"
- "Please Jak you're such a wimp, I could have taken them myself."
- "Maybe you should sit on MY shoulder for a while?"
- "This is what happens when they drop my name from the title!"
Erol
- I've found some new friends to help me conquer this puny little planet.
- (about the Dark Makers) It seems my digital self can communicate with these poor, tortured minds quite well. Oh but they're just like you and me Jak; well, me at least. They want a home, someone to call a friend—destruction of all Light Eco!
Count Veger
- This time, the precursors will not have mercy on you.
- You will all burn in the precursor fires of creation! I swear it.
Conversations
Kleiver: Those were some sweet moves in the arena, boy. But a little more choke and you would've popped, eh?Jak: Are you talking to me?
Daxter: Yeah, are you talking to...him?
Kleiver: No, I'm conversing with me sweet, departed mum. Of course you, ya bore head!
Pecker: This... was all your stupid idea!
Daxter: No... it was yours. Only a bird brain could have thought this one up. (imitates Pecker) Let's go with him! We'll help together! (angry) You mean we'll die together! I can't believe the city hates us. We saved those lowlifes!
Kleiver: I used to be the tall poppy on that baby. Wanna try to beat me score?
Daxter: (slyly) Oh, don't worry. Jak "beats" things all the time. Eh, Jak?
(Jak smacks Daxter upside the head, Daxter gives him an angry look)
Torn: You know the drill.
Daxter: Yeah, we do all the work, and you get all the credit.
Daxter: Oh yeah! The boys are back in town!
Jak: Let's go upside and see what kind of trouble we can get in to.
Daxter: After him, Jak!
Jak: You're willing to go down there? Without a fuss this time?
Daxter: Yeah, well don't get used to it. It's just that nobody hurts my best
friend and lives to brag about it. Let's get him!
Ashelin: No, this one's tricky. I'm giving it to Torn and Jinx.
Daxter: What!? I suppose you don't think we're good enough, huh? You don't
think we can do it?
Jak: Dax...
Daxter: May I remind you, that this team of Daxter, Jak and Daxter have taken
just about every scary thing this world can throw at us for three... count
them, three adventures!
Jak: Daxter...
Daxter: This is an outrage, Jak! We're the heroes! We're the ones on cereal
boxes for God's sake. And I'm about to release my own line of sports shoes!
I've got a contract.
Ashelin: You are on the mission. Your job is to cover Torn and Jinx in a
vehicle filled with explosives. Escort them to the Metal Head section, and
together you'll blow open the nest.
Daxter: Oh, well... why didn't you say so in the first place?
Samos: The best access to the catacombs is on the Metal Head side of the city.
Daxter: Sometimes... I really hate you guys.
(After Jak and Damos crash near the catacombs. Jak sees Damas underneath Desert Rover, struggling to get out)
Jak: Damas!
Damas: Not bad driving, kid. It was a good fight (cough) and a good day to die. I'm...very proud to have been by your side...in the end. This world is not yet out of heroes.
Jak: We did well together. (Damas struggles on the ground slightly) Don't move, I'll-
Damas: Please...promise me one thing...promise me you will...find my son...Mar. You'll know him when you see this. (Shows the symbol of Mar to Jak) He's...wearing an amulet just like it. (Jak has a flashback to the Kid from the previous game, his younger self, wearing the amulet) It is a symbol of our lineage...with the great house of Mar. (Cough) Save the people, Jak. They need you... (Damas dies)
Jak: (Whispers) Father...
(After Jak finds out that Damas was his father, Count Veger arrives)
Count Veger: Yes, you were that child. I took from Damas, hoping to harness your eco powers for my experiments. Then, I lost you to the Underground. You seem upset? Did I tell you to late? You were the son of the great warrior Damas. Oh, and he never knew, (smiles evilly) how delightful.
Jak: (Roars in anger, turning temporarily into Dark Jak) Veger! (Reverts back to normal)
Count Veger: Thank you for opening the door to the Precursors. Don't worry, I'll be back to put you out of your misery. (Jumps into nearby hovercar and flies down the hole to the center of the Earth and the Precursors)
Daxter: (Jumps on Jak's shoulder, points to the hole) After him, Jak!
Jak: (Surprised and disbelieving) You're willing to go, down there, without a fuss this time?
Daxter: Yeah, well, don't get used to it. It's just that NOBODY hurts my best friend, and lives to brag about it! Lets get him!
(Chase after Count Veger with last hovercraft nearby)
Daxter
- Wait! Come back! After I fell down to... confuse the Lurkers I uh... argh!
- What insect crawled up his butt?
- Oh yeah! Let's see what's on the Tube tonight. (presses buttons to cycle through TV channels) Boring... boring... seen it... hated it... I was up for that part... (girls screaming) Whoa! Sorry ladies! I didn't know Krimzon Girls took showers!
- I know Kung Fu?
- Wow, that was pretty deep.
- FREEEEEEEEDOM!
- The Twitch comes with the Job