Inspector Morse

Regular Quotes

• Various women: "I can't go on calling you Inspector. What's your name?"

Morse: "Morse, everyone just calls me Morse"

• Morse: LEW-IS!
• Morse: You've done it again, Lewis. [Said when Lewis unwittingly helps Morse to solve a mystery through a passive remark.]

Episode 5. Last Seen Wearing

• Morse: Have you ever thought about the person who designed the sports skirt. Somebody sat down and drew a fantasy and made it compulsory uniform. I can never watch Wimbledon without thanking that man.

Episode 8. Ghost in the Machine

• Morse: Get an ambulance to Hanbury House as fast as you can. Some fool in a sports car just drove into a tree.
• Lewis: Was it from 'Cats'?

Morse No it was not from 'Cats'!

Lewis Oh, the wife wants to see 'Cats'. Don't know why, she's allergic to them.

Episode 17. Fat Chance

• Lewis: Who, cigar and cassock? [Enquiring after a chain-smoking female priest.]

Episode 20. Promised Land

• Morse: They don't spell Australian beer with four X's out of ignorance!
• Ann Harding: You're a bastard, Morse.
• Lewis: ...and my name's Robert. My friends call me Robbie.
• Lewis: How old are you, sir?

Morse: I forget, Robbie.

Episode 31. Death Is Now My Neighbour

• Adele Cecil: This anagram, "around eve"—I've tried and I've tried, but all I can come up with is "Endeavour". And no-one's called Endeavour, surely?

Morse: I told you—my mother was a Quaker, and Quakers sometimes call their children names like Hope, and Patience. My father was obsessed with Captain Cook, and his ship was called Endeavour. Why aren't you both laughing?

Lewis: You poor sod.

Adele Cecil: I'm not calling you "Endeavour".

Lewis: Call him "sir". He likes that.

Adele Cecil: Oh no, no,—I'll stick to "Morse", like everyone else.

Morse: [Raises his glass of beer.] Cheers.